Thing 9: An Early St. Patrick's Day

9 Things I learned at the DC St. Patrick's Day Parade this afternoon on Constitution Ave:

1. DC has a St. Patrick's Day Parade. It is in its 36th year and I had never heard about it. I am not the only one -- it is not particularly well attended. We arrived at noon as it was starting and easily found standing room with no one in front of us.

2. DC is just like any other small town. This claims to be "The 'Nation's' Parade," but during two hours of parade there was nothing that you wouldn't see in any small town parade. There were the fire trucks, police motorcycles, high school and middle school marching bands of varying levels of talent, dog clubs and sports clubs and antique WWII vehicles. There were floats made with crepe paper and dancing school children and people throwing tootsie rolls and stale bubble gum to kids on the sidelines. Except for the inclusion of the Air Force Marching Band, this was any other small town parade.

3. Shriners are weird. Their mini corvettes are odd, their fezzes are not at all protective and serve no discernible purpose. They don't seem to be having any fun as they zip about in their tiny cars. And they completely freak out the Boyfriend.

4. Every Irish school girl in the DC-MD-VA area attends an Irish dance school. There were no less than seven Irish dancing schools represented in the parade, some with a hundred little girls or more trailing behind the float and step dancing in near-unison. All the little girls wear corkscrew curl hair extensions.

5. Don't trust the program. The two entries I was most looking forward to, the Morehouse College "House of Funk" Marching Band and T.H.I.S Christian Rockers Marching Band did not show up. The Christian Rockers were scheduled to come third to last in the parade too, so we stayed until the bitter end only to learn that they weren't coming at all.

6. There are very low standards for entry into the parade. Irish step dance and emerald societies? Sure, that makes sense. Fire trucks and marching bands? Well, OK, they're in every parade. Bagpipes? Technically Scottish, but same region as Ireland, so what the heck. The Bavarian Folk Dance Society and Falun Dafa Traditional Chinese Dance? Um...what? I think I have discovered why the parade has over 100 entries and lasts more than two hours.

7. Leprechauns are terrifying.

8. The Greenbelt Dog Training Parade Marching Drill Team rules! I loved these guys! Their dogs were adorable and (obviously) well trained. The Washington Showstoppers Community Band, er, stopped the show. The band itself wasn't the best we saw, but their dancers were great and everyone actually seemed to enjoying themselves, which was not true of some the prize winning bands that had passed us earlier.

9. Guinness is good for you. Or at least it is wonderfully restorative after spending a couple hours on your feet and fighting little kids for tootsie rolls. Happy St. Patrick's Day to me!